"You know where you get your food stamps?"

The following conversation is not made up.  It is, in fact, almost recounted back to you in strict verbatim.  The reason I know this is because David and I spent a full evening after we heard this conversation repeating it....mostly because we wanted to remember it, but also because we couldn't believe it actually took place.  Here is a little background to set the story. 

David and I are on our drive back from Crested Butte, Colorado.  Three girls approximately 17-25 sit behind me (facing David) and began a doozie of a conversation.  And now, without further adieu, I give you the booth behind ours at Kentucky Fried Chicken in Delta, Colorado:

"I want to get a tongue piercing, but I can't because if you do you can't talk for a week afterward and my job is all answering phones so I can't."  --nose pierced girl says.

Friend replies, "where do you work?"

"You know where you get your food stamps? (I can only imagine both girls heads nodding , because nothing is said), I work underneath that.  I'm saving up money to go to dental assisting school, which is $3,000 and I have that money, but I also want to get my CDL because I have to have a trade.  If I don't have a trade I'm never going to make it because it's hard with a kid." 

(at this point I'm sitting with my jaw unhinged and trying not to laugh--David had to explain to me later that a CDL is a commercial drivers license....you know to be a TRUCK DRIVER, the perfect job when you're a SINGLE PARENT!).  

"I mean, I give my daughter everything.  The other day I bought her an outfit that cost $21 dollars.  $10 for the shirt, and $11 for the pants.  I mean, I know some people will go to the second hand shop to shop for their kids, but I just can't do that.  I don't know why. I mean, if you all gave me clothes I'd take them, but I just can't shop in a second hand shop because you just never know who has been wearing the clothes.  I'm seriously so selfless when it comes to Lexi.  I'd wear second hand clothes before I'd let her wear them.  I'm $3,000 in debt with collection agencies calling after me but I still always put her first.  It sucks."  

(um.....what happened to that $3,000 you had for dental assisting school?)

Other friend asks, "where is your daughter now?"

"She's with her dad.  I hate leaving her with him but you have to, you know?  And at least it's better than my sister.  You have to be careful around her.  But she's in prison right now for murder although I think when she gets out she's just going to go right back in."

(my eyes are bugging and I literally had my hand over my mouth while David is now looking at me threatening me not to laugh for fear that we are about to get a wicked spork thrust in our hearts if we even dare to snicker.)

David and I didn't linger around too much longer than that.  We walked out a little more quickly than we had walked in, and laughed a lot harder once we got into the safety of our car than we had in a long time.  

Thanks skanky girls of Delta.  You have no idea how you helped the next two hours of driving fly by.